Here I sit, almost halfway through another year thinking about all of the “I promises,” and “I will’s” that I have told either myself, mu friends, or my family members, and being afraid to admit to how many I’ve failed at, either by starting and then stopping, or just flat out refusing to start. Until tonight.

I was reading a discussion thread  which said “… You are the CEO of You, Inc.” This really got me to thinking about all of the things that make up me; what brings me joy, saddened, anger, goals I’ve set and reached, or fallen way short of. I have to tell you that, when you are at a certain point in your life, that is a scary view. Allow me to give myself a performance evaluation.

I’ve written. I love writing, but I let it slip through my hands because of self doubt. If I were still teaching, I would encourage my students to keep going, to reach, because, even if they quit believing in themselves, I believe in them. Below expectations.

My health. I can already tell you this one is a huge failure. I go, and go, and go, and get bored and discouraged because I do not see any results so I quit. I know it is a slow process, but it does not matter. Below expectations.

Job. Well, this one is difficult to evaluate because I left my job a month ago for a new one. I know that, given the proper equipment and opportunity I will succeed, but as of now, I’m just “there.” Meets expectations.

There’s a new one that i’ve added recently, and that is going back to school for my Master’s degree. One and one half classes complete and I’m glad I took this leap to better myself. Above expectations.

There you have it. I meed to get back into the swing of things, and into taking better care of what matters to me. I hope this time I can follow through.




One thought on “Dissatisfied

  1. You can succeed and will do so. This has been a traumatic year. Your baby girl has just graduated from high school. Give yourself an exceeds expectations for raising two great kid! Now you can focus more on what you know you need to do!

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