Lessons

One of the things that I am struggling hard within myself, and it goes hand in hand in my mind with my low self esteem, is my dislike of myself. I don’t hate myself, and the demons that tend to accompany self hate were battled back years ago, but I tend to not like myself very much, looking to find my self worth, my purpose. Some days I think I know what it is, then I will blink, sneeze, stumble, something, and think about how wrong I was. I am learning some things, however, and I am working toward applying them to myself like I would hope to help someone else who finds themselves in this sometimes murky pool of self worth when you have that low self esteem.

1. I really need to silence the voices of the past that filled my mind with lies about myself, and that I accepted I have got to find a way to recognize the value of me that my family and friends tell me is there. As Rafiki told Simba in The Lion King:

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2. There is only one me. I was born with gifts, some I have yet to uncover, but I have got to stop discounting them. I was born into this world with a purpose, I may not know what it is, or it may be to write about my ife in this  media so tat others may know they are not alone. Who knows?

3. I matter to someone, be it my family, my friends, my students, my co-workers… Someone loves me as I am.

4. My life, my destiny, are not written in stone, things can, and often should, change. This has been so crystal clear to me this school year when situations came to a point where I had to make a decision for myself, not for my students. Resigning from the campus I have spent eight years at was an easy decision when I realized I needed to do this in order to be happy. I faced one fear and am not just ending that chapter in my life, but I am closing that book and stating a new volume, one filled with blank pages.

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5. I was made to be loved and experience happiness. It is part of who we are – to keep living and keep dreaming. I deserve to find fulfilment – so I can’t give up on myself.

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