Blogging. Writing. Two things that I love to do, but suddenly I find myself wordless, without focus. Adrift on a blank page with no witty terms or phrases to build the bridge from one side of the page across to the other. A wonderful friend of mine said that I just need to recharge my muse, but I am afraid that they have taken a cruise around the globe, on a very slow boat.
Not only am I muted in my thoughts, but I have entered the crazy, exhausting, mindless last grading period of the year; the time when the kids have already checked out for summer vacation. (Okay, to be completely honest, so have many of the teachers.) It is in this exhausting, brainless time that I realize my body is so physically exhausted that it is virtually indescribable.
I suspect that one way to get my muse’s butt off her slow boat, and reverse some of my body’s exhaustion, is to start getting my rear back into the gym for regular workouts, even if it is a minimal 30 minutes for a day; some physical activity (verses what I have been doing recently, i.e. nothing) is better than the none.
It is hard, though, to admit my failure here. Publicly. I set out a year ago with a goal in mind, and went full out, balls to the wall, towards it, and burned myself out. I let the holidays take control of my discipline, then a family tragedy, followed by turning in my resignation at work, more or less took care of the rest.
Maybe I have that wrong? I should not look at it as failures. My life went completely 180* off course in just a few short months, and this has caused my body to fall out of sync. I will continue to try and find my words while I try to find myself in the process. I guess we will see if I can find myself again, together.