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My last post that I wrote last week was about finding balance within yourself, and how -ideally- once you have found that balance, you will start to take better care of yourself while you take the steps in the journey you have chosen. As soon as I made the post go live, I talked to my Mom who had read it, and she pointed out that I was not following my own advice. She was absolutely 100% correct. I was not only burning my candle at both ends, but I had a few flames going in the middle of the candle as well, and everything was already taking a toll on me.

I had to listen to not only my family, but my friends who were all concerned about me. I had begun to isolate myself after a bad couple of weeks, compounded by exhaustion, everyone who is important to me noticed my withdrawal and they finally began addressing me about it.

Stress has won the round this month since my last weigh-in and fitness test with my Sadist. It affected my trips to the gym, reducing them to almost nil, my diet has gone to hell, and, as I said, emotionally, I closed up.

But I am going to fight back. I lost sight of the path I was on, but now I remember the way. I have made adjustments to my part time job schedule, working only weekends now, which will free up two more evenings during the week that I can get back to pounding the treadmill, or using the elliptical to work out my stressors. I will be able to focus on my sessions with Sadist, and once I am cleared by the doctor, I can get back to working my upper body again.

I will be able to eat healthy again, no more quick trips through a drive thru for dinner on my way between jobs. No more excuses.

Probably the best move that I made, the one that, if it pans out stands to have the greatest impact on my overall health, was taking steps to change full time jobs, leaving where I am for a position closer to home. I know that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence, but sometimes a change of scenery and a different type of fertilizer can make a huge difference. If this does not happen this year, well, I will keep my chin up, finish the best I can, and keep looking.

I may not have let you down recently with all my goings on, but I have let myself down. It is time, well, past time, I regain my balance. I need to let go of what I can if it does not make me happy. I need to live for myself.

A special thanks to a couple of friends for the saying at the top and this song, reminding me of me.

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