Because I’m Worth It

8:18

I really have no one direct thought in my mind as to what I want to write about. My mind is such a whirlwind of thoughts right now, trying to pin one down is virtually impossible, but, I think I have found a way.

If you, like me, are going through a personal transformation of whatever type, I am grateful that you found my page! I am going to backstory for a moment, so bear with me, please. In a summary, I am a divorced woman for closing in on a decade now, Mom to two of the greatest joys to ever come into my life, a middle school teacher, and part time cashier. I have had one hell of a bad body image, I hate how I look and feel. I am obese. I am unhappy and lonely. I made a decision on July 23 to go look at a gym. Something and someone (myself being both of these) needed to change. I joined the gym, and committed myself to meet with a trainer to get advice. This trainer (known in my blog as Sadist) and I clicked. I signed two days a week to him for the next year, and he has been pushing me to my potential since then. In my first four weeks with him I succeeded in losing 10 pounds and 14 overall inches of myself.

This is the story of my transformation, yours is your own story to tell or not, whatever it is for. I will never judge you.

This journey of self that I am on is not just a physical one, yes, I am learning to like my body more. This is an attempt to rediscover all of who I am that I lost after my divorce, and if there are pieces of me that I can not find, then it is about replacing those pieces with better. It is somewhat like Humpty Dumpty, but I am not relying on anyone else to pick up the pieces of me any longer. For me to be truly happy with myself, then I have to be strong enough to fix myself.

Whether you are here watching my journey to health and a more fit self, if you can relate to something I have said, or appreciate something in one of my posts, I am grateful. I love hearing from people, and hope you will let me know how your journey is going.

I will repeat my advice from an earlier post:

Keep a journal of your thoughts during this journey. Do not lie to yourself. If you are trying to lose weight, keep track of the food you eat. There are countless websites and apps that can help with this. I use myfitnesspal.com.

Have a support system. Tell someone what you are trying to do, this makes you accountable to someone other than yourself. Don’t be afraid to lean on them when you are feeling low, like you want to quit. The right person or people with be there for you to help. That is what friends do.

Believe in yourself!! You have set that ultimate goal for a reason.  Make a dream board. If that goal looks too far away, or too daunting, break it up into smaller, more easily achievable, chunks. Remember, the sum is the total of the smaller parts. Each smaller achievement is that much closer to the big goal. You can do it! I believe in you!

It is not easy. I stumble, I think it’s too hard, I can’t do it. Then I remember I am worth the effort. Those who follow my blog, waiting to see me fail are going to be disappointed.

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6 thoughts on “Because I’m Worth It

  1. I am honored that you have chosen to share your journey with us. I cheers me every day to see you achieving your goals. If you stumble, I will be there to steady you. As you succeed, I will be there to cheer you on. You are an amazing woman and your blog says it all…You are worth it!

  2. July 23rd was the day? It’s a coining date for me too in a way. But it was in 2005. I was in Sharm el Sheick, Egypt – a holiday resort at the tip of the Sinai when three bombs went off at a little past 1am. Since it’s so hot and it’s a vacation resort life happens there during the night. Many people died while I lived. Since then I believe that there must be a reason, a cheap woolen bracelet with a stone charm knotted to my left wrist since that day a constant reminder that though I might not yet have found the reason why I am alive, it must exist and I must stick around to find it and live up to it. Some days it is harder than others to believe what would be mainly in myself and the thought of not being good enough is a constant companion and gets fulled by incidences and encounters of the unpleasant nature – a lot of people are rather thoughtless where their actions and words towards other people are concerned. But yeah- fighting through it again and again is what it takes. You can do it and you are already doing great.

    1. You are so strong and beautiful Aviva! I can’t say I understand how you feel, because I’ve never been in a situation like that, but I believe you are alive as a testament to the beauty in life that you recreate in your art, and in your words which inspire me. That stone is a symbol of what you have overcome, some things I’m aware of, others I’m not, but I’m grateful every day that a girl named Jordan introduced us.

I would enjoy your thoughts and comments

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