The good, bad, and ugly

After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery. It’s better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.

— Sophia Loren

I have been so blown away by the support of my friends and new followers! You are, everyone, truly an inspiration to me, and the reason for this diary of diet and exercise, healthier living blog. It is with you all that I will find successes, small ones and larger ones. The quote above seems to be perfect in these beginning days because I know I am bound to make mistakes, but I will get up, dust my butt off, and keep going.

Does anyone else feel the after effect of a good, hard workout the second day, or is it just me? I’m just curious because my quads are not wanting to work right today! Climbing up and down the stairs into my apartment today has been, well, we’ll just call it interesting. If I sit too long today, and then expect to get up and move like an adult? Yeah, no. its not looking too graceful today. I knew I would be sore, but I mistakingly thought it wouldn’t be too bad! After all, these long legs of mine are accustomed to toting my weight around everywhere, right? The lightbulb finally kicked in to remind me that I was using those poor muscles differently, and isolating them.

I am guilty of stepping onto that little lying box in my bathroom, you know the one I am talking about. We all swear it lies to us every morning if the numbers do not sow us what we want. It’s not a crystal ball. It cannot tell us the future. It can only tell us what it senses is the truth in that moment that you have both feet planted firmly on it. I climbed onto it today, (after stripping to nothing and taking care of morning business. No extra weight necessary, thank you very much!) squinted my eyes, just in case, and my number had dropped to 221.4. Not a big dump, and I know it is water, but down is the direction I want it to go. Yes, I started my day with a little bit of a bounce in my step. Even my doctor’s scale seemed to know what it should tell me, because there it was again, in living proof for his medical records! No, I do not want to be all about that number, but at the end of this, that final number will be significant in my mind.

Here I sit, in my post workout daze, drinking my protein shake (whey protein: vanilla, 1 cup 2% milk, one banana, and 6 ice cubes blended well), thinking about my workout today, and the initial measurements that Trainer J took. When I looked at the numbers once he was done, I told him I was built like a football lineman. I think this may hurt more than the scale and body fat did because this breaks it all down for me. It honestly also made me mad as hell and he pushed me for three sets of each trio of exercises which focused today on triceps, core, and cardio, and damn if he didn’t get it.

Friends would tell me I could carry the weight because of my height, I see the glaring truth tonight that I can’t. Deep breath in, and here is the ugly truth of me, in numbers:

Age: 42

Height: 6 feet (182.88 cm)

Neck: 14 1/2 inches

Shoulders: 49 1/2 inches

Chest: 46 inches

Rt. Bicep: 14 inches

Lf. Bicep: 14 inches

Stomach: 43 inches

Hips: 47 1/2 inches

Rt. Thigh: 28 inches

Lf. Thigh: 28 inches

Rt. Calf: 17 inches

Lf. Calf: 17 inches

The worst part after seeing, accepting, and admitting these numbers is the desire I have to comfort myself in sweets. I wont do it, I want to, but I want health more than I want that artificial comfort.

The truth today is ugly, but I can’t let this discourage me. This needs to put the fire in my spirit that keeps me moving toward the end goal.

3 thoughts on “The good, bad, and ugly

  1. Happy day!! Why cuz you did not comfort with sweets. You choose not to and to me that is a win. Keep it up. I know how hard it is and I am here to tell you I am so proud of you

  2. Small meals throughout the day. Almonds are a great source of healthy fat and protein. I put raisins and blueberries in my oatmeal. Roughage and unprocessed sweetness. I must admit I pour on a wee but of maple sugar on it. Flavor your water with slices of orange, lemon , or lime. Sometimes I put raspberries in. Looks pretty and makes me want to drink more. Looks pretty and makes you feel special about yourself. Treat yourself to a new piece of workout gear for every 5 pounds you lose. You can do it!

    1. Linda, you are so wonderful! Your words of encouragement will keep me going. I did buy a bag of almonds today so I can snack on them at work. Lots of fruit in my diet now, and dark, leafy greens! Add my trainer, the Sadist who will push me when I need it? I’ll get there, just via baby steps, the healthy way. Thank you!!

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